by
The Hyena of Darkness
And you thought the snail was evil.
By now we have all heard of the demented tortures
that can be put upon you by the Mad Dr. Nesbit should you rise
her ire. (Of course with Mongoose Guy he was put upon because something
else got raised). She rules Supermegatopian labs with an iron fist.
Woe to those who must justify their funding to her.
Can you imagine a worse fate? ...Imagine being
related to her?
Say hello to Marcus, Mad Dr. Nesbit's younger
brother. A genius in his own right, but anyone who grew up along
with the hostile anger of Charlotte would learn like he did that
the best path is the one of least visibility. (A very good idea
when your sis is starting to get into orbiting weapons systems).
Now a member of the Supermegatopia labs staff
(who else would hire the target... er brother of the infamous Dr.
Nesbit?) He has found himself in the only position that his sister
would offer. Perhaps her ego wouldn't let him have the chance to
supercede her. Perhaps Marcus wanted this job, it being the only
one that Mad Dr. Nesbit lets operate without her ^personal^ attention.
Maybe the pay was good? (naaaaaaaah) Deep in the basement where
the door kicking robots don't go is a dimly lit room. There the
bells always ring.
Welcome to...
Spuermegatopian Labs: Tech Support.
"Hello, SMTL Tech Support. Please
state your product and nature of the problem."
"Yes, I see. Have you tried plugging
in your Supermega-death laser? Ah, the power light is on now, then
your all set. "
"I'm sorry Dr. Gohti but there has
not been enough of a demand for us to include wiper blades in our
next model of exo-suit. "
"Well you see sir once you installed
Windows on your system we can no longer offer service support.
May I suggest you try shutting off the reactor core then turning
it back on? Nuclear devastation,? Then you'd better contact Microsoft."
"I see, well the rocket boots might
have a better effect if you put them on ^before^ ignition."
"On the tour? Sorry ma'am the lost
person's dept is another number. Connecting you to the switchboard."
"Yes sir I do realize you are the
new evil incarnate, but unless you pay your current balance we
can no longer ship to you."
"No its not a cup holder... Really!"
"That's correct, the night vision
bio-implants are inactive during the day. I'll tell the tech writers
that."
"Supermegatopian labs does realize
that our promotional CDs can accumulate. We suggest you sharpen
the outside edge and fling them. Yes, just like that woman in leather
on that show."
"I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Force.
But it will loosen up with wear, and circulation will return."
"Yes we do carry that information
on She-Male, but we do not release information from our customer
database."
"I'm sorry we can only guarantee
the permanent death of ^unpopular^ heroes."
"Well ma'am since its made of metal
its always going to be cold when you put it on in the morning."
Of course it might be worse if he worked the
night shift. Only his semi-fanatical crush on Sunflower gets him
through the day. That an his plans of becoming the worlds greatest
cat burglar (okay he's not a cat, but that works to his benefit
when the cops start looking.)
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