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Weasel Bone

by Fero McPiglet


After being run out of Boneville, the three Bone brothers and sister, Weasel Bone, Greasy Bone and Mighty Bone are separated and lost in a vast, uncharted desert.
One by one, they find their way into a deep, forested valley filled with wonderful and terrifying creatures...



Strip #1

It's dark.  Censored signs are plastered everywhere.
SFX:  Moan!  Groan!  Moan!  GROAN!
Thorn:  Weasel Bone!  Wake up! 
Weasel Bone:  Whuh?
A surprised Weasel Bone is sitting on a makeshift bed on the floor. 
Weasel Bone:  What did you call me?
Thorn:  Weasel Bone.  That's your name, isn't it?
Weasel Bone:  No, it's not!  And why am I all white and *gah!* I'm naked!!!
Weasel Bone:  Is this what happens when you wake up with a-
Thorn: BONE!
Weasel Bone:  -Er...  Coming!



Strip #2

Weasel Bone is looking tiredly at an axe and a pile of firewood.
Thorn:  After you chop the firewood, you can pull up the weeds and do the dishes and clean the barn and blah, blah, blah, blah...
Weasel Bone:  <sigh>  I think I'm suppose to be superhero.  Guess I'm really a glorified housemaid.
Thorn:  blah, blah, blah, blah and you can finally sow the wild oats.  Did you get all that?
Weasel Bone:  Yeah.
Thorn:  So get to work.
Weasel Bone:  Fine.
Thorn:  Oh'n Weasel Bo-
Weasel Bone:  Did you just say 'Owen, Weasel Boy?'
Thorn:  No.  I was going to say 'Oh and Weasel Bone, don't forget to feed the chickens and sweep the house and blah, blah, blah, blah...
Weasel Bone:  <sigh>



Strip #3

A disheveled Greasy Bone is wandering in the forest.
Greasy Bone:  Darn!  I'm lost in the woods!  How am I ever going to find my way out?  Woe is me...
Greasy Bone:  If only there was a friendly, talking forest creature who would appear and guide me out of this horrible place...
Ted the Bug:  Hi!  I'm Ted the Bug!  I'm here to-
Greasy Bone:  Eeek!  A bug!
SFX:  SQUISH!



Strip #4

Weasel Bone is talking to Thorn.
Weasel Bone:  Thorn, I'm telling you!  He's big and humongous!  Really!
Weasel Bone:  And he's all red and hairy!  And he spits out burning hot fire!
Thorn:  For the last time, Weasel Bone, I'm not interested in what's inside your pants!
Weasel Bone:  That's not what I'm talking about!  I'm talking about the Great Red Dragon!
Thorn:  Oh for goodness sake, you even named it!



Strip #5

Weasel Bone is the barn with Thorn.  It's raining outside.
Thorn:  Weasel Bone, I had a dream last night.  I was a princess and you were in it and-
Weasel Bone:  What a coincidence!  I had a dream with you in it too.   Except you weren't a princess, well maybe you were, but you weren't wearing anything so I couldn't tell.  Anyway, we were [CENSORED] [CENSORED]  [CENSORED]-
SFX:  SLAP!



Strip #6

Greasy Bone and Mighty Bone are washing dishes.
Greasy Bone:  Why didn't you tell me the currency is kiwi's!  Now we're stuck here washing dishes to pay for my tab!
Mighty Bone:  Sorry.
Greasy Bone:  Anyway, for some reason, I was under the impression that they trade eggs in this strange town.  If they did, we'd have gotten out scot-free, what with me being a girl and all...
Mighty Bone gives Greasy Bone a blank look.
Greasy Bone:  It's a joke.  Me, girl, eggs... 
Mighty Bone:  I don't get it.
Greasy Bone:  Never mind...

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