by
I Sing The Songs
(The girls enter the stage. They all have their faces painted white
(except Purity, for obvious reasons) and are dressed in kimonos)
Crushed: Ready?
Red: These robes are stuffy, how many layers
are there to these things?
Knaw: As many as the layers o' flab 'round yer
gut tubbo!
Purity: Seize your infernal prattling, let us
begin!
Crushed: Oy….
(Music begins, the theme to 'I am the Very Model
of a Modern Major General' from Pirates of Penzance)
Crushed:
#I am the very model of a poor kitty heroine
I've died so many times and I always will get up again
The fates are cruel and twisted so they leave me in delirium
What I wouldn't give to find an eternal life ser-I-um.#
Red: is that a word?
Crushed: * Sigh *
#My demeanour is often one of sardony, sarcastic wit
'cus face it as far a des-I-tany's go my one is really sh*t
Knaw is mean, Purity's cruel and Red has a large weight problem.
We buy our clothes in bulk from every retail consortium
Red: Cool, my turn?
Crushed: Knock yourself out.
Red: Great!
#I am the very model of a pudgy individual.
my waistline makes me quite rotund my belly's rather spherical.
I'm a sucker for candy, chocolate, and any other fattening treat
To keep from eating less than every five minutes is quite a feat.
If I did want to lose my flab I'd probably find it quite a test
I can't run more than a few meters without getting out of breath
No I'll remain a tub of lard no matter how hard I try's
A plump round butt, a beach ball belly and a pair of thunder thighs
Knaw: My toin!
#I am deh very model of a deadly individual
I have a deadly blow dart gun; it's perfectly cylindrical
My knives are sharp, my arrows poisoned, my grapple weighted perfectly
The hooks are bent to precise measure to have perfect symmetry
The poisons I use vary from incapasitents to fatalty
To make the illusion of painful death a cold reality
I'm often told the language that I use is very, very crass
But I gots an arrow sharp enough to get through tubby's huge tank
ass!#
Purity: I refuse to participate in this…I'm
leaving!
Crushed: Doesn't matter, the writer couldn't
think of anything anyhow.
Red: This outfits making me hungry, I thing I'll
grab some fortune cookies!
Knaw: I hates it when people gets dah Makardo
mixed up with PoP!
(Everyone looks at her)
Knaw: WHAT!!!!! |