by
Fero McPiglet
After being run out of Boneville, the three Bone brothers and sister,
Weasel Bone, Greasy Bone and Mighty Bone are separated and lost
in a vast, uncharted desert.
One by one, they find their way into a deep, forested valley filled
with wonderful and terrifying creatures...
Strip #1
It's dark. Censored signs
are plastered everywhere.
SFX: Moan! Groan! Moan! GROAN!
Thorn: Weasel Bone! Wake
up!
Weasel Bone: Whuh?
A surprised Weasel Bone is sitting on a makeshift bed on the floor.
Weasel Bone: What did you
call me?
Thorn: Weasel Bone. That's
your name, isn't it?
Weasel Bone: No, it's not! And
why am I all white and *gah!* I'm naked!!!
Weasel Bone: Is this what
happens when you wake up with a-
Thorn: BONE!
Weasel Bone: -Er... Coming!
Strip #2
Weasel Bone is looking tiredly at an axe and
a pile of firewood.
Thorn: After you chop the firewood,
you can pull up the weeds and do the dishes and clean the barn
and blah, blah, blah, blah...
Weasel Bone: <sigh> I
think I'm suppose to be superhero. Guess I'm really a glorified housemaid.
Thorn: blah, blah, blah, blah
and you can finally sow the wild oats. Did you get all that?
Weasel Bone: Yeah.
Thorn: So get to work.
Weasel Bone: Fine.
Thorn: Oh'n Weasel Bo-
Weasel Bone: Did you just
say 'Owen, Weasel Boy?'
Thorn: No. I was
going to say 'Oh and Weasel Bone, don't forget to feed the chickens
and sweep the house and blah, blah, blah, blah...
Weasel Bone: <sigh>
Strip #3
A disheveled Greasy Bone is wandering in the
forest.
Greasy Bone: Darn! I'm
lost in the woods! How am I ever going to find my way out? Woe is me...
Greasy Bone: If only there
was a friendly, talking forest creature who would appear and guide
me out of this horrible place...
Ted the Bug: Hi! I'm
Ted the Bug! I'm here to-
Greasy Bone: Eeek! A
bug!
SFX: SQUISH!
Strip #4
Weasel Bone is talking to Thorn.
Weasel Bone: Thorn, I'm
telling you! He's big and humongous! Really!
Weasel Bone: And he's all
red and hairy! And he spits out burning hot fire!
Thorn: For the last time, Weasel
Bone, I'm not interested in what's inside your pants!
Weasel Bone: That's not
what I'm talking about! I'm talking about the Great Red Dragon!
Thorn: Oh for goodness sake, you
even named it!
Strip #5
Weasel Bone is the barn with Thorn. It's
raining outside.
Thorn: Weasel Bone, I had a dream
last night. I was a princess and you were in it and-
Weasel Bone: What a coincidence! I
had a dream with you in it too. Except you weren't a princess, well maybe you were, but you weren't wearing
anything so I couldn't tell. Anyway, we were [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]-
SFX: SLAP!
Strip #6
Greasy Bone and Mighty Bone are washing dishes.
Greasy Bone: Why didn't
you tell me the currency is kiwi's! Now we're stuck here washing dishes to pay for my tab!
Mighty Bone: Sorry.
Greasy Bone: Anyway, for
some reason, I was under the impression that they trade eggs in
this strange town. If they did, we'd have gotten out scot-free, what with me being a girl and all...
Mighty Bone gives Greasy Bone a blank look.
Greasy Bone: It's a joke. Me,
girl, eggs...
Mighty Bone: I don't get
it.
Greasy Bone: Never mind...
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