What's
the most important part of a superhero? Powers? NO! Gadgets? NO!
Handsome good looks with a big package or stunning eyes and a rack
that defies physics? Close, but what really defines a hero is the
name! A catchy name will go farther and last longer in the public
eye than the ability to throw a fully loaded school bus or knock
down an office building with a single punch. And what happens when
two different heroes picked 'Wonder Wombat'? Well generally there's
some name-calling and a fight to the 'death', but since the city
legislature instigated the 'No Hero/Hero fights during crossovers
because it's been done to death' Law due to unnecessary property
damage, they've had to go about it in other ways. Which brought
in Lawyer Lad... but he quit after they found him with his brief
case in an awkward spot. Then there's Captain Copyright and his underage sidekick Trademark Girl... but they're currently living
in sin somewhere in the desert. And so when all other outlets ran
dry they finally agreed to settle the old fashion way... Unfortunately,
the coin landed in a crack in the floor, and was neither heads
nor tails... So debate continues.
Real Name: Will
Simonson
Occupation: Offender
Base of Operations: Offenders
Mansion
Marital Status: Single
Former television star, Will realized he had more
to offer the World when an attack on the set of his latest commercial
proved almost fatal. However, much to the dismay of the Terrorist
that just emptied his clip into him, Will was still breathing,
and also very angry. One pummeling later he realized that while
his acting talents were mediocre, his ability to kick ass was exceptional!
And so he entered the fast paced career of the superhero. And much
to his surprise and delight the shift was not as different as he
had worried. He still spent hours with buxom beauties in tight
clothing, still had dramatic lines to say at just the right times,
and still had all his screaming fans. However he wished he had
a say in the writing. The real villains didn't pull their punches,
his very name was causing trouble, and soon after joining the Offenders
he had conflicts with the android Offender, Twenty Twenty over the affections of
the Blood Witch. Which eventually ended in fire and the breaking
of numerous small mechanical parts. Currently though, he's back
with the Offenders, and back in the sack with the Blood Witch,
so maybe there'll be a happy ending yet!
Real Name: Deedree
King
Occupation: Legionnaire
Base of Operations: Hall
of Kiwis
Marital Status: Single
Born on the Amazonian island of Conniling, Deedree
left the isle saying "I must go, for my aid will benefit the barbaric outside world of man", or at least that's what she told her mother. Because "Mom, I'm going out there to get some action... and I'm not talking about fighting
crime... have you seen the way the Mighty Mighty Hamster fills
out those tights?" So she packed her bags and grabbed her metal bikini top and sailed the seas.
Once she reached the harbor she wasted no time. Diving to the depths
she kicked a giant crab squarely in the spot you should never kick
a giant crab, thus setting it on a rampage towards the city. A
few screams later the Might Mighty Hamster was on the scene and
after a short battle was looking down the top of Wonder's outfit.
Although he denies this, it still remains that she was part of
the Justice Legion Supermegatopia before the unconscious giant
crab was finished sinking back into the murky deep.
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