Real
Name: EBR 327-A
Occupation: Big
Evil Robot
Base of Operations: The
Metallurgist’s Lair
As the name implies so very well, Big Evil Robot
was very much not a small lithe ballerina. Instead he was a monolithic
engine of destruction designed by the Metallurgist over the course
of a weekend (and a bit into the following Monday morning).
His specs are not incredibly outstanding, or at
least any more so that any of the Metallurgist’s other diabolical
creations. But what he does have over all the other is size. And
man, does he have a lot of that! Well over a hundred tons of it
to be a bit more specific. So much size in fact, that the hanger
door leading out of the base had to be carefully removed… namely
by a big punch from the EBR. It not as if there weren’t a hundred
tiny little drones that needed something to clean, fix, and to
be crushed by.
Aside from the door, EBR didn’t get much time
to live up to the evil part of his name. Sure, his walk through
the desert trampled a few pretty cacti and some roaming tumbleweeds,
but even the Mighty Mighty Hamster has stepped a foot or two into
a garden… until his Grandmother straightened him out for doing
so, but EBR was without such aged guidance. Instead he faced off
against a fully powered Buxom Gal who quickly reduced him to scrap
metal with one furious blow. The falling EBR actually crushed a
few more plants, but that’s beside the point.
Now, the future of the design is unknown. While
there’s great potential to it and the Metallurgist likes ‘em big,
he did have a pretty piss-poor first outing. Only time will tell
what becomes of EBR 327-A.
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