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Cat and Cock Fight

by Various

In this corner! We have Tiger Lass! And in that corner, we have Crushed. Round One!

Well, after 10 minutes of hissing and circling one another...

C:'I've got more fans than you do!!'

TL:'No I DO, you sword swingin sl*t!'

*Much clawing and loss of clothing occurs*

C: ...nude...again... odd... oh well, I'm gonna claw youre eyes out to horny idiot!

TL: Hah! I'd like to see try, you Kenny wannabe!

*After a lot of rolling around and hair pulling, the fight continues.*

*Crushed jumps and tackles Tiger Lass to the ground, and they are both somehow covered in lots and lots of fudge*

TL: How the... hell?

C: Ah... damn, another perverted fanboy... oh well, lets keep goin' at it.

TL: fine by me, you dumb b*tch!

C: You f*cking sl*t!

*after more rolling around, the fight continues*

Then someone pours in the barrel of hampsters into the fray!

*Crushed and Tiger Lass spend the next 10 minutes throwing them at each other*

'Squee!' *spat*

TL: "Take That, you dits!"

C: "Dits, huh? Take THIS!!"

'Squeeeeee!'

TL: "Missed! Hah ha-murph!!"

C: "I had Two, ya tramp! At least I don't throw myself at anything with an over-stuffed codpiece!"

TL: *Ptui* "Icky! Grrr!" *Grabs another hamster* "Alright, tahke THIS!"

*TL does a flying tackle on C and stuffs the hamster in her uppermost cleavage. Then, in a lightning fast strike, swats her breasts together, smothering the little furball, which dies in a state of over-aroused extasy*

C: "Ew! Dead hamster in my... THAT'S Sick!" *grabs a few hapless, furry lumps* Try the TRIPPLE ATTACK!!"

*Chorus of SQUEEEs!*

One strikes TL in the head, the second strikes her in the ribs, sending her sprawling, the third misses completely. C grabs another hamster.

C: "Let's see how you like this!" *Grabs one of TLs ankles and stuffs the squeeling hamster into...

*CENSORED*

TL: ooohhhh my. That kinda feels good!

C: *looks at a hamster* really?

TL: *Falls down due to good 'vibes'*

C: Hey, I'm not missing out on this! *stuffs a hamster in her...er, well... garden... yeah*

*meanwhile, up in the rafters, Weasel Boy and Mighty Yak watch this bizzarre battle*

WB: Wow... look at them go... lucky little bastard rodents.

MY: Huh? *Marveling over a passing butterfly* Who's a lucky little bastard rodent?

WB: ... I'll tell you when youre older, Monty.

MY: 'Kay...

*The Fight continues!*

*After about six consecutive orgasms, TL and C start to fight again, clawing, hamster throwing, hair pulling, love making-oops, sorry, fantasy and all.*

TL: Come on, wh*re!

C: How dare you! You sl*tty b*tch!

*They tackle each other back to the ground*

TL: Who do you think you are anyway? I've gotten more comics then you ever will!

C: Yeah, well, I've been around long before you were even sketched!

*Up in the rafters*

MY: Sketched? Like at an art school?

WB: Uh, in a way, Monty, in a way.

*Back in the ring*

TL: Hey, look, Monty! Over here!

MY: Huh?

TL: Want to help me out down Here? I could use a big strong man!

MY: Okay.

*MY stands up in the rafters, hits his head on a overhead light, and falls.

MY: Wooooaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

C: *looking up* Oh sh*t, not again!

Montie fast down toward Crushed.

C: *having been impaled by yak horns* "Just great... 4th time today thats happend...." *dies*

TL: Haha! i win!!

*Running from outside, and in a new set of clothes, Crushed does a flying kick and plants her foot in the side of TL's face*

C: There was a church just across from the arena. Lucky me.

*TL is in a half-dazed stupor*

*Monty is still stuck head first into the arena floor*

MY: ...Hey, um, Owen... could you help me here?

WB: Not now! The fights going on outside!

MY: Whats so cool about two half naked girls, covered in fudge, wrestling each other to the ground?

WB: ...

*Meanwhile, outside*

C: That was a dirty trick, sending youre plaything at me like that... Is he availible for parties?

TL: Well... I do want him to be my plaything... but he just doesn't get it.

MY: Owen, what are they talking about?

WB: Not now, more importantly, did you bring the video camera?

C: *droping her offensive stance* What do you mean he dosn't get it?

TL: *Assuming "girl talk" posture* Well his superpower is that he gets tougher the more you put him through, so he's oblivious to my existance.

C: Just rolls right off him huh? Have you tried subtility?

TL: Yeah, nothing.

C: maybe this aphrodesiac I found in the Tunnel of Passionia will hel-

Judge Mills Lane: Ladies! this isn't the weekly get-togethor! this is a Deathmatch!

C & TL: Sorry. *Shuffle their feet*

JML: I want to see Death! now lets get it back on!

Judge Judy (couldn't resist!) : BUP BUP BUP!! We can't just have senseless violence in the streets!

C & TL: *March back into the arena, much to the delight of the fanboys, who scream and grope them, ripping off Crushed's new clothes.*

C: Down! down! Let go of those! Hey! That's my last pair!

TL: *Jumps back into the ring, then Notices Monty is still stuck there, upsidedown.* My hero! *Hugs him, rubbing her face in his crotch*

MY: What?

C: *Finaly back in the arena, naked* When I find the B@sterd who stole my panties!

Redo from Start: *Waving his prize in the air* woohoo!

*up in the stands*

MAx: Give em here Redo, its my turn to hold em!

Redo: No way! you had em for 30 seconds!!

*tug of war begins*

C: Hey! Give those back, pervs!

Redo and MAx: Huh?

*Crushed starts her way up to the rafter, stops a minute to pose for a photograph by Weasel Boy, and goes up to kick MAx's and Redo's @$$es*

M&R: Oh, sh*t!

*Just then, Dr. Ghoti falls through the roof*

DG: Haha! Land dwellers! Time to die! This is my Creation of Land Dweller Doom!

C: I could have sworn he made an appearance in my comic...

DG: This is my, gigantic, squid of evil!

TL: ...squid of evil...?

DG: Yes! Look at all of it's tenticals!

C: Me first! *runs to the gigantic squid of evil*

DG: Ewwww... thats gross...

*Naked Amy, from the rafters stands up*

NA: Don't bogart that squid!

*And all looked at Crushed and Naked Amy being... ravaged by the gigantic squid*

TL: ...Oh, hell, I want some of 'dat!

*And much lactating followed*

Then the Con... contin... police guys who fix reality show up and scratch out that last part.

*Linnard looks on from his apartment.*

TML: This looks like a job for a superhero.

*changes channel*

TML: Oooo, SMT Squares!

The Magnificent Linnard, SuperHero For Hire!

TML: I'll take Atomic Dawg to block.

*Meanwhile, in the arena, Crushed and Tiger Lass have beaten each other up so badly, the can't keep fighting.*

All the fanboys: Hey, why'd they stop!?

C: I...I...I can't fight anymore...(huff)

TL: Me...either... (huff)

*Just then, something hit the Mighty Yak*

MY: Wait a minute... Tiger Lass wants something from me!

WB: What gave it away?

MY: But what?

WB: (sigh... he'll never get it) C'mon, Monty, pick up Amanda and lets just get out of here...

*Mighty Yak puts the nearly unconsious Tiger Lass over his shoulder*

*Just then, Dr. Ghoti falls through the ceiling... again... and introduces his latest creation of Land Dweller Doom, The Atomic Snail! Who quickly eats the tired Crushed, instantly reseting her back to the temple of infinent lives*

C: Well... damn... that seemed oddly familear... oh well...

The END! Now for Cock Fight between Horn Dog and Buck Naked.


*Somewhere off in Mexico...*

In this corner, we have Horn Dog! And in this corner, we have Buck Naked! Round One!

BN: Alright! Lets see what you got!

HD: You have an impressive manhood, Buck, but not as impressive as MINE! *unzips his pants* C'mon, then!

*Well, the two use their...manhood... in the manor of light sabers*

*Just then, Crushed walks in, still tired from her romp with Tiger Lass*

BN: Hey, a half naked chick!

HD: Oh, no you don't! She's mine!

C: Oh, sh*t!?

*Hey, lets call off the battle and write this as a big, fun orgy!*

*Not on your halflife.*

*Sl*t Puppy clears her throat from a corner of the ring.*

SP: Hornie, baby, you have to prove who's more manly, you, or some streaker.

*Buxom Lass Clears her throat from the other corner of the ring*

BL: Buck, wow, I mean, Umn, You have to, *giggles* Wow. *drool*

BN: Thanks for setting me back on track Lass. I owe you one, or three.

BL: *giggles and sighs, checking out Buck.*

(Next up, they make it a good clean fight, with day-glow condoms!)

*MAx is kind enough to provide escort for Crushed out of the arena, and a beach towel to wrap up in*

ANNOUNCER'S VOICE - "Just a reminder Ladies and Gentlemen. The winner of tonight's fight will recieve a kiss on the head from Miss Kiwi! Then she'll stand up and give the winner a kiss on the lips!"

And suddenly, from lack of interest, everyone leaves.
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