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Matilda the Hun
Real Name: Matilda Kahnberg Occupation: Space Pirate Base of Operations: Space Marital Status: Widow Widowed after a tragic zeppelin crash, Matilda Kahnberg took some of the proceeds from her husband's insurance policy to take a cruise around the Experienced Islands (named for a queen who wasn't so inexperienced *wink-wink*), where she was abducted by a group of space-fairing pirates because she had a certain genetic anomaly that would allow their mortally wounded captain's essence to be transferred into her body. However, the second mate didn't want Captain Bastard Fuckemall's life to go on, after all, the man didn't get a nickname like: Puppy-Snapper or Bugger-Anything-Once for having nice hobbies like needlepoint! Even for a pirate Captain, this was too much. So instead, he coached Matilda in acting like him until they could escape. A few jobs later, while watching a couple of Colonial ships evaporate into the abyss of space from her command chair, Matilda realized she really liked her work. Space piracy was better paying and more exciting than her teaching job - not that she could go back after blowing up her classroom from low orbit.
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