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Mad Dr. Nesbit's Worst
by The Hyena of Darkness And you thought the snail was evil. By now we have all heard of the demented tortures that can be put upon you by the Mad Dr. Nesbit should you rise her ire. (Of course with Mongoose Guy he was put upon because something else got raised). She rules Supermegatopian labs with an iron fist. Woe to those who must justify their funding to her. Can you imagine a worse fate? ...Imagine being related to her? Say hello to Marcus, Mad Dr. Nesbit's younger brother. A genius in his own right, but anyone who grew up along with the hostile anger of Charlotte would learn like he did that the best path is the one of least visibility. (A very good idea when your sis is starting to get into orbiting weapons systems). Now a member of the Supermegatopia labs staff (who else would hire the target... er brother of the infamous Dr. Nesbit?) He has found himself in the only position that his sister would offer. Perhaps her ego wouldn't let him have the chance to supercede her. Perhaps Marcus wanted this job, it being the only one that Mad Dr. Nesbit lets operate without her ^personal^ attention. Maybe the pay was good? (naaaaaaaah) Deep in the basement where the door kicking robots don't go is a dimly lit room. There the bells always ring. Welcome to... Spuermegatopian Labs: Tech Support. "Hello, SMTL Tech Support. Please state your product and nature of the problem." "Yes, I see. Have you tried plugging in your Supermega-death laser? Ah, the power light is on now, then your all set. " "I'm sorry Dr. Gohti but there has not been enough of a demand for us to include wiper blades in our next model of exo-suit. " "Well you see sir once you installed Windows on your system we can no longer offer service support. May I suggest you try shutting off the reactor core then turning it back on? Nuclear devastation,? Then you'd better contact Microsoft." "I see, well the rocket boots might have a better effect if you put them on ^before^ ignition." "On the tour? Sorry ma'am the lost person's dept is another number. Connecting you to the switchboard." "Yes sir I do realize you are the new evil incarnate, but unless you pay your current balance we can no longer ship to you." "No its not a cup holder... Really!" "That's correct, the night vision bio-implants are inactive during the day. I'll tell the tech writers that." "Supermegatopian labs does realize that our promotional CDs can accumulate. We suggest you sharpen the outside edge and fling them. Yes, just like that woman in leather on that show." "I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Force. But it will loosen up with wear, and circulation will return." "Yes we do carry that information on She-Male, but we do not release information from our customer database." "I'm sorry we can only guarantee the permanent death of ^unpopular^ heroes." "Well ma'am since its made of metal its always going to be cold when you put it on in the morning." Of course it might be worse if he worked the night shift. Only his semi-fanatical crush on Sunflower gets him through the day. That an his plans of becoming the worlds greatest cat burglar (okay he's not a cat, but that works to his benefit when the cops start looking.)
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