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Worst Case Scenario: "The Permanent Solution"
by Magpie -- Prelude | Act One | Act Two | Act Three | Act Four | Act Five | Act Six Act Six: All's Well that Ends Well... "Tim Curry was actually responsible for the boost to Tom Cruise's career. If you will recall he played "Darkness" in the movie, Legend, opposite Cruise's character "Jack". It could easily have been the other way around, except the director didn't think Tim Curry's earnest playful accent suited a hero." Cheddar stared at Tina for a full minute, before taking a quick drink, as if the conversation left a bad taste in his mouth. Cheshire filled the parrot's mug, sliding a fresh bowl of trail mix onto the counter, "Well, how does it feel to be the hero of the day? You defeated Vixen Twobits, stopped the Permanent Solution, and... I heard something about an action figure. So why are you moping?" "I'm not... Just tired, I guess. I just... " Cheshire nodded, patting the parrot on his shoulder. Opening her mouth to say something, the cat was interrupted by Tina squealing out, "Vicky!" Leaping off of her stool, the porcupine stretched her arms wide, intent upon glomping the lioness as she entered the karaoke bar. Dressed in a fresh cream colored silk dress, the lioness managed to look demure and regal for a split second before she panicked in the face of the charging serial hugger, flailing back as she fell on her ass to avoid the vicious snug, "STOP! What did we discuss, Tina?" Pouting, Tina clasped her hands in front of herself, repeating sullenly, "... no hugging unless you're in your suit." Cheddar shook his head, trying his damndest to ignore the pair. Necro-Filia was on the stage as usual, singing cheerfully for her dead boyfriend, who was also in his usual seat. It seemed to Cheddar that nothing much had changed... Well, that wasn't true. Things had changed. He had interviews tomorrow, as well as a number of signings... Barnaby had talked to him about a movie deal, which he was considering. Strange how much things could change in a single week. He was part of the hottest superhero team since The Men-Men had first hit the city. Big change. But he was single... and that wasn't anything new. Looking up as someone took a seat next to him, he smiled wistfully at the cowgirl, "Hey, Bleu..." "Hey, Cheddar..." They sat quietly for a while, neither one saying a word. Cheshire set down a white Russian in front of the cowgirl, then made herself scarce, moving to the other side of the bar to discuss a running tab with another customer. "You have to pay for the first five, you know that, Magpie." The blackbird dug about in his pockets, coming up with a pair of large cigars and a single kiwi buck, "Fookin' furry... ah'm good for it, what?" Bleu and Cheddar both kept quiet, trying to decide what to say. At the same time, they blurted out "I just came to say..." "You first, Bleu..." "I'm... I know you didn't mean any of it. But I think you were right. It wouldn't work out between us." "Why not?" "I'm not a superhero." Bleu explained simply, taking a sip of her drink, so she didn't have to watch Cheddar's face. Cheddar shook his head, refusing to accept that for an answer, "Bleu... You beat Vixen Twobits for christ's sake! You ARE a superhero! You could join the Offenders! Hell, they'd probably even take you with Furr Force Five!" "What if I don't WANT to be a superhero? I free snack foods from their confinement, but... I like chocolate. I don't really like people... I don't think I could save them day in and day out, Cheddar." "So? Don't be a superhero... just stay with me! I'll move out of my parents house, you can move out of that dumpy apartment." "It was actually a nice apartment before I met you..." She muttered, folding her arms over her chest, "Which is the point, Cheddar. You can't keep your work away from home. Besides, I'm 26. You're four years younger then me... and a parrot. That's just... not right. What would the kids look like? I'm just afraid you're more concerned about your job then with me, Cheddar." "I'm not more concerned with...look, I'll make you a deal. Take a couple of days to think things over. I'll call you... and... well... we'll see. Okay?" Glumly looking into the depths of her white russian, Bleu finally nodded once, "Alright, Cheddar... So how's the big time?" "Not very good. I wish you'd taken credit for beating Vixen Twobits." "Did they find her?" "... no. There was a lot of wreckage. Brinkly Bros. was closed, so we've probably seen the last of her." Watching Filia on stage, Bleu suppressed a snicker, murmuring softly, "It's been a strange week..." "It has, hasn't it? Well... at least everything was wrapped up in the end, huh? Not a single loose end..." Cheddar laughed, lifting up his mug in a little toast, as the far wall exploded inward with a loud BOOM, a voluptuous cow girl stomping into the karaoke bar dressed in jeans and an unfastened straight jacket. Someone in the back of the bar shouted out, "It's the Mad Masked Cow! RUN!" Panic ensued as the non-superhero clientele rushed for the door, while the super-patrons of the Screaming Possum ran for the bathrooms to change into their uniforms. Eyes swirling with madness, the villainess mooed balefully at the small W.C.S. gathering, "VICTORIA!" Choking on her drink, the lioness sputtered out, obviously surprised, "Mignon? ... are you off your medication?" Pointing to Tina, the cow girl began twitching violently as if having a conniption fit, "Who the hell is that? You could at least cheat on me behind my back! But OH NO! I get to see it on K-FUR News!" "Oh it's not like that, honey... I just... well, yes, I suppose it is. I didn't think you watched the news. It's so blue collar." Victoria admitted, nervously rubbing the back of her head, wishing she'd remembered to bring the Titan amulet to this after dinner mixer. Stomping her foot down, as if gearing up to charge, Mignon mooed, "This place is hereby condemned... WAHAHAHAHA! No one will be spared my bovine wrath! DESPAIR!" Cheddar began rolling up his sleeves with a sigh. The Mad Masked Cow. He'd researched her before. A straightforward brawler, with the strength of madness. No match for Goth Cheddar. Getting out of his chair, he was stopped by Bleu's hand on his arm, "... you want to get out of here, Cheddar?" "... but. She's... a villain, you know. I really should... you know." He looked from the fuming super villainous cow, to Belle, then to Cheshire who shook her head at him. Shoulders slumping, Cheddar watched the assembled drunken heroes pulling themselves from their seats to dog pile on the evil doer. The parrot looked back at Bleu, finally nodding to her, "Yeah... I guess I do. Work can wait, right?" "Come again." Cheshire waved to the couple as they pushed their way through the crowd towards the neon lit exit of the Screaming Possum Karaoke Bar. "You know... there's nothing as cute as two people in love." Hanging his head over the side of the bar, Magpie hacked out a weak little cough, "Ach... ah think ah'm gonna be sick." "Oh, you're not even half the bad ass grouch you play. You've got a little bit of a romantic buried under all of that tar." Pecking at his armpit to relieve an itch, he mumbled, "Uh huh... romantic. Right. Did yer mole just move?" "It's a beauty mark, and no." She sighed, watching the couple as the door closed behind them, ignoring the sound of a hyper-mad cow banging superheroes together like cymbals, "I think we're going to see more of the W.C.S. soon." "Yeah, right... Furr Force Five is back in town, so is Buxom Gal. Who needs a buncha second string wannabes?" "Well, you'd better hope we see more of them. Because otherwise you're out of a job, hero." Ruffling his feathers to make himself look as menacing as possible, Magpie cawed out, "Oh fook' ye, ye moon yowling litter-box trog..." Cheshire turned up the volume of her television to avoid listening to the bird ranting at her, catching the end of K-FUR nightly news with Pamela Panda, "...wanted in connection with a number of break-in's to styling salons across the city. A bizarre case indeed, we'll keep you posted on the "Pedicure Bandit". In our closing story tonight, we'd like to again send a warm thank you from the hearts of the people of Supermegatopia to the Worst Case Scenario team members, those known... and those who remain in the shadows. Members of the W.C.S., including Goth Cheddar, the Titan, Necro-Filia, Captain Cadaver, The Publicist, Cuddles, and even the reclusive Magpie will be at the Tri-Kiwi Mall tomorrow morning to sign autographs, and we are expecting record number turn-outs. This is Pamela Panda with K-FUR news... Good night everyone." Turning off the set, Cheshire Muggs checked her watch, before shouting over the brawling heroes, "... okay, everyone. Last call! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here! Meow... Filia, what did I tell you about public indecency?" The End... Cast: (In Order of Author's preference) Bleu Belle - The Dark Chocolate Knight Magpie - Henchbird for Hire, the most offensive creature on the planet Hurley Quinn - The clown mistress of... well, hurling. Ratchet Cordova - A lemur who meant to say what she meant (The Reverse-Psychologist) Vixen Twobits - A barber who delved too far into darkness (The Stylist) Cheddar - The straight parrot. (Goth Cheddar) Chesire Muggs - Bartender kitty extraordinare, and the only sensible person in the city. She seems to have a wandering mole and a secret... (not revealed in this story. sorry.) Shag - The shower hair clog from hell. Banaby Tull - The shallow side of the Tull gene pool (The Publicist) Filia Tull - Cheerleader by day, superbunny by night (Necro-Filia) Patrick Patriech - Deceased Partner of Necro-Filia (Captain Cadaver) Tina Quills - The Serial Hugger (Cuddles, The Snugglebug) Victoria Wainwright - The inheritor of a great destiny in need of repair (The Titan) Mignon Fillete' - The over-medicated Mad Masked Cow (The Mad Masked Cow) Single Scene Extras: "Expendable Kitty" - The Worst Sacrifice of Vixen Twobits' occult career Mailguy - A weasel avenger with postal tendancies Vanessa Tull - Proud mother, and C.E.O. Mach Ten Tabby - A cat who's just too fast for his own good. Dr. Frink - Head Psychiatrist at S.M. Asylum Madrox Blanc - S.M. Asylum orderly and fetcher of coffee Timmy - A dog good down to the last bite Cabbie Camel - Yes, it's a stereotype... but it's good for a laugh. Baroness Munchmausen - The pun makes my teeth ache, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Frequently Mentioned but never appearing: Tres Leches - An eccentric genius of sweet confections, this bee's theories are the basis of Bleu Belle's own study of the life of the chocolate bar. FURR FORCE FIVE! - Away on a publicity tour, there's Lance the pretty boy, Ace the strategist, Dirk the mechanically inclined, Natasha the explosives expert, and Phoenix the rough and tumble fighter. They're campy, old-school, and competent... thus they do not appear in this story. Buxom Gal, Ferret Man, Post Man, Mail Man, Creepy Guy, and others - Not my property, but it wouldn't be Supermegatopia without them... Afterword : I don't know what it is about disreputably powered superheroes that's so damned appealing... Sure, Superman sold the comics back in the day, but who wants to follow the adventures of an invincible yutz who wears his underwear outside his pants? So what if Lois Lane is being held hostage by a gang of thugs? He can punch through a planet! Who can feel bad for the guy? But Buxom Gal with her alien... enhancements. Ferret Man with his decidedly avant guarde' crime fighting techniques and hair trigger. Weasel Boy with his... well... I guess he doesn't have much, but he at least puts on the spandex every night. I've only briefly dealt with furry mucks before. (Infact some older Furtoonia players may recognize a cast member in the W.C.S.) But when I heard about Supermegatopia, I really went a little spastic. (My favorite character happens to be Ferret Man. He's got the vigliante homicidal gun-toting sex appeal mojo thing going for him, even if he is married. You have to respect someone THAT violent.) A friend (Power Girl's player) told me about the comic-strip and accompanying mucks. I spent the next two days trying to think of a cool power, and coming to my rescue... the Discovery Channel had a piece on marlin fishing. Apparently they will vomit their own internal organs up to dislodge a hook. (Yes. This is Hurley Quinn's origin,) I was thrilled! I had a character idea! But then I also had final exams... then summer vacation... and forgot. Somewhere between then and now I passed over the Hurley character to Power Girl, and forgot about the muck for a couple of months. But everytime I visited Power Girl we'd get on the subject of Supermegatopia, and ideas would pop up. A person who could hypnotize candy bars, a serial hugger, a diabolical reverse-psychologist, and a few others... I'd finally decided to join, but... what bothered me was that I had about fifty character ideas, and a maximum of three character slots. And I wanted to just have ONE main character starting out... Narrowing it down to four characters was the easy part. After that, Magpie was shelved, if only because if people didn't realize I was just "in character" I'd probably be lynched. Which left Vixen Twobits, Ratchet Cordova, and Bleu Belle. Anyways, before I bore the crap out of you anymore, I finally decided to play Bleu Belle for the lamest of all reasons (She's a good guy!), and I look forward to meeting everyone. I'm still new to the muck, and still trying to figure out what the heck is in the kiwi burgers. As for this story, I figured I had to do something with the glut of characters, and this is the easiest way to figure out who I did and didn't like. What was the point of this afterword? I don't really know... I suppose it's my way of saying hello, and nice to meet you all. Any comments, feel free to page me, or email me. Also, as I said, I've got a bunch of characters laying around, as well as a set of characters I'm planning on using on the sister Supermegatopia muck (Their adventures are usually under the heading "Counter-Intelligence", and it's more of a Read or Die/James Bond/Danger Mouse flavor then Worst Case Scenario's Mystery Men style) - Magpie
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