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Spicing Up Crushed
by I Sing the Songs, Lewton PI and Cpt Anticlimax "Hey Crushed….What's up?" asked Brian the artist. "We have a bone to pick with you buster" said the cat-fur looking extremely p*ssed. "What have you got to complain about?" asked Brian. "Your comic is one of the most successful I've ever drawn and its only had three instalments so far"! "It's not that, it's the costumes". "What about them"? "We had a talk and we've decided we don't like them"! "Who's we"? "Red, Knaw and I, who else. We don't like being treated like strippers, those outfits are way to skimpy…when we're wearing outfits"! "But you're cartoon cheesecake, you're supposed to wear skimpy clothes and get naked"! "That's as maybe, but we've had enough and we're boycotting the comic until you give us nicer or less revealing outfits". "But I'm an artist, I can just draw you whenever I like"! "Oh" she said her voice full of sarcasm "but have you forgotten, we have major influence over you, we can make you draw us in just yashmacs if we want"! "Ok, ok, I'll give you nice, functional, no-nonsense outfits". "Good artist, now get on with it, this chain-mail bra chafes like heck". With a mear swish of his art pencil Brian called upon all his power and searched for outfits that, while fairly sexy, were functional and un-revealing. "The hell"! "Well its what you asked for, isn't it"? "It looks like someone stitched two flags together"! "Smart girl". "And why are these balloons down my front, and these pillows"? "To pad it out, the last owner was a bit on the tubby side". "Then give it to Red, she'd more than fill it"! "Sorry Crushed, I've already got one". Red appeared from out of nowhere dressed in a form fitting, tarty black one-piece, highly fashionable. "Aw common, that's almost bursting open at the seams, let me have that one and she can have this"! "Sorry, with your hair and group position you kinda chose this yourself". "Consider yourself lucky dead kitty". Knaw then appeared wearing a cute girly frock in white and a set of pigtails. "I look like a friggin' baby down here"! "You're lucky, look what happened to us"! Stinky and Dead Guy appeared then dressed respectively in a set of loose jogging gear and silver onepeice with an Afro wig. "Ok Brian we get the picture, change us back NOW"! "After all the fuss you made, get lost"! "Ehhhh screw dis, I'm outta here. I'm goin' solo from now on," said Knaw, storming off. "Us too" said Stinky and Dead Guy. "Don't worry Crushed, I'm here for you" said Red. "Why hello". Out of nowhere a cute female soccer player with huge boobs and a cheeky smile entered. "Well aren't you a cutie" she said approaching Red "don't you just want to squeeze that belly, if you like we're having an éclair blow-out over at mine, you wanna come"? "DO I?" she all but screamed, "eh, sorry Crushed but em, duty and fattening food calls, bye bye". "What do I do now?" she said, all alone in the world. " Here" said Brian "its a CD by Ricky Marten, copy his style and a few of his lyrics and you'll make a mint"!
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