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Weasel Bone
by Fero McPiglet After being run out of Boneville, the three Bone brothers and sister, Weasel Bone, Greasy Bone and Mighty Bone are separated and lost in a vast, uncharted desert. One by one, they find their way into a deep, forested valley filled with wonderful and terrifying creatures... Strip #1 It's dark. Censored signs are plastered everywhere. SFX: Moan! Groan! Moan! GROAN! Thorn: Weasel Bone! Wake up! Weasel Bone: Whuh? A surprised Weasel Bone is sitting on a makeshift bed on the floor. Weasel Bone: What did you call me? Thorn: Weasel Bone. That's your name, isn't it? Weasel Bone: No, it's not! And why am I all white and *gah!* I'm naked!!! Weasel Bone: Is this what happens when you wake up with a- Thorn: BONE! Weasel Bone: -Er... Coming! Strip #2 Weasel Bone is looking tiredly at an axe and a pile of firewood. Thorn: After you chop the firewood, you can pull up the weeds and do the dishes and clean the barn and blah, blah, blah, blah... Weasel Bone: <sigh> I think I'm suppose to be superhero. Guess I'm really a glorified housemaid. Thorn: blah, blah, blah, blah and you can finally sow the wild oats. Did you get all that? Weasel Bone: Yeah. Thorn: So get to work. Weasel Bone: Fine. Thorn: Oh'n Weasel Bo- Weasel Bone: Did you just say 'Owen, Weasel Boy?' Thorn: No. I was going to say 'Oh and Weasel Bone, don't forget to feed the chickens and sweep the house and blah, blah, blah, blah... Weasel Bone: <sigh> Strip #3 A disheveled Greasy Bone is wandering in the forest. Greasy Bone: Darn! I'm lost in the woods! How am I ever going to find my way out? Woe is me... Greasy Bone: If only there was a friendly, talking forest creature who would appear and guide me out of this horrible place... Ted the Bug: Hi! I'm Ted the Bug! I'm here to- Greasy Bone: Eeek! A bug! SFX: SQUISH! Strip #4 Weasel Bone is talking to Thorn. Weasel Bone: Thorn, I'm telling you! He's big and humongous! Really! Weasel Bone: And he's all red and hairy! And he spits out burning hot fire! Thorn: For the last time, Weasel Bone, I'm not interested in what's inside your pants! Weasel Bone: That's not what I'm talking about! I'm talking about the Great Red Dragon! Thorn: Oh for goodness sake, you even named it! Strip #5 Weasel Bone is the barn with Thorn. It's raining outside. Thorn: Weasel Bone, I had a dream last night. I was a princess and you were in it and- Weasel Bone: What a coincidence! I had a dream with you in it too. Except you weren't a princess, well maybe you were, but you weren't wearing anything so I couldn't tell. Anyway, we were [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]- SFX: SLAP! Strip #6 Greasy Bone and Mighty Bone are washing dishes. Greasy Bone: Why didn't you tell me the currency is kiwi's! Now we're stuck here washing dishes to pay for my tab! Mighty Bone: Sorry. Greasy Bone: Anyway, for some reason, I was under the impression that they trade eggs in this strange town. If they did, we'd have gotten out scot-free, what with me being a girl and all... Mighty Bone gives Greasy Bone a blank look. Greasy Bone: It's a joke. Me, girl, eggs... Mighty Bone: I don't get it. Greasy Bone: Never mind...
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