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She Male's Date
by Lost Johnny She Male stepped out of the shower, having washed off the melted cheese that formerly covered his/her body after the "elevator incident", and studied his/her reflection in the full length mirror on the closet door.Strong, broad shoulders, pale green breasts like honeydews, long shapely legs and...well...Buck Naked would be envious.S/He cupped the massive mammaries and gave the hard green buds of his/her nipples a tweak, then stroked his/her emerald warrior of love a couple times before turning away and walking over to the bureau to find some underwear. From the top drawer s/he pulled out matching black lace bra and silk boxers.S/He pulled them on, thought for a moment, then dug through the drawer and found the garter belt that went with the set and a pair of flowered lace stockings to complete it. Next came the outfit to wear over it all.Opening the closet door, s/he pawed through the various suits and dresses before deciding on a cream, shawl collar Evan Picone tuxedo jacket over a black mandarin collar pleated shirt with mother of pearl studs, black cummerbund, and a black, Anna Sui, tea length skirt that that was slit up the sides to the thighs.A pair of black Dolce Gabana stiletto heels completed the outfit. She Male paused again, then hiked up the skirt, unfastened his/her garters, pulled down his/her boxers, adjusted the stockings, refastened the garters and pulled his/her boxers back up over them.After all, one should always be prepared. A final brush of his/her hair, a little make-up and lipstick, and She Male was dressed to thrill.S/He opened the door of his/her bedroom and strolled down the hallway singing "Sex (I'm a ...)" softly to him/herself. Captain Kiwi saw She Male coming down the stairs and asked,"What are you all dressed up for,"realizing too late that he didn't really want to know the answer. "I've got a hot date tonight," s/he replied, causing the captain to blanch and duck into his office mumbling something about "paper work," and "unnatural acts". Outside the Offenders mansion, She Male flagged down a taxi and headed for Karl's Kiwi Kabana and Lounge.Ten minutes later the taxi pulled up outside the popular nightclub.She Male paid the driver and went inside.Across the busy floor she spotted her date...er, dates for the evening, Slut Puppy and Horn Dog, sitting in a booth with a round table and a floor length table cloth, already with a couple of empty glasses in front of them and getting frisky. Horn Dog removed his hand from inside Slut Puppy's half unbuttoned blouse and slid out to allow She Maleale to sit between them.S/He slid into the proferred seat and before s/he could even order a drink from the suddenly appearing waitress felt Slut Puppy's hand massaging the bulge in his/her skirt.Two Kawai Kiwi Krushes later, even She Male was feeling no pain, and s/he couldn't decide if the warm glow s/he felt was from the drinks or Horn Dog's hand on his/her chest.In truth, s/he didn't really care. She Male was getting a little hungry and said, "Let's go grab something." "I got what I want right here, baby," Slut Puppy replied, giving She Male an extra enthusiastic squeeze before ducking under the table.Within seconds She Male was breathless and crosseyed. Before anything could proceed any further, though, there was a sudden disturbance at the front of the club.Distracted by the commotion, s/he was unable to concentrate on what Slut Puppy was doing underneath the table.In turn, Slut Puppy noticed She Male's sagging...interest, and poked her head out from underneath to see what was going on.Horn Dog, as well, removed his face from She Male's cleavage to see the commotion. Two armed robbers were holding up the bar, taking money from all the customers at gunpoint.As soon as they saw what was happening, Supermegatopia's most Dynamic Duo launched themselves across the room, but tumbled to a halt when they realized who the thugs were. "You!" exclaimed Horn Dog. "Yes! I!Hahaha!" laughed the first robber. "And you!" exclaimed Slut Puppy. "Of course!" replied the second robber."It is I!Or maybe 'It is me!'I never could get that one quite right.Anyway, it is us, the Lemur Twins, Pat and Chris!" "Our arch-nemises!" Horn Dog answered. "How dare you interrupt our burgeoning menage with your criminal activities?" "Interrupt your burgandy garage?Eh?"Pat, or maybe it was Chris,said, puzzled."Anyway, we dare interrupt your...whatever...because weknow you're powerless to stop us.Your powers of sexuality have no effect on us because we're completely androgynous." "He's right...er...she's...um...it's...."Slut Puppy was totally non-plussed.The Lemur's power of gender confusion was too much for her overcome.Even Horn Dog found it too hard to stay hard.He could feel his libido lagging. "Our work here is done," said Chris, er, Pat, er, one of them to the other."We've de-eroticized the sexiest heroes in the city.No one can stop us, now!" "Not so fast," came a voice behind the whimpering heroes."You still have to deal with me." "She Male!" cried the Lemur twins in unison. She Male shook off his/her jacket, then finished unbuttoning his/her shirt, a job Horn Dog had started.The bartender ducked behind his bar.Down and off slid his/her skirt.Patrons turned their heads or hid under tables.Slut Puppy and Horn Dog couldn't look.The Lemur twins were cowering against the bar. She Male stepped closer to the androgynous duo, now wearing only his/her underwear."I don't think you two are totally sexless."S/he grinned an evil grin and unhooked the front clasp of his/her bra and let it fall from his/her shoulders."I think you're just a little confused, that's all."Slowly, slowly, s/he approached the now mesmerized lemur twins.S/he noticed a growing wet spot on the front of the slacks of one."Besides, I have enough for both of you."Slowly, slowly, the black silk boxers slide down, over She Male's bulging...um...gift.The other Lemur twin suddenly developed a growth in the front of "his" slacks.A female patron screamed.She Male lashed out with his/her fists, knocking both Lemur twins unconscious."That was too easy,"She Male concluded as s/he picked up his/her clothes and got dressed again. With the Lemur Twins out like lights, their hold on Slut Puppy and Horn Dog was broken.The two helpless heroes stopped cowering and thanked She Male profusely. "I thought I'd have to give up men, entirely," Slut Puppy said. "Thanks to you, I feel horny again," said Horn Dog. "Why don't we get a few bottles of champagne and go somewhere private to celebrate," suggested She Male. And, well, you can guess the rest.
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